Kira's Poetry & Musings

In the haze between fixes
Through the cramps and the pain
You somehow find words
That will hurt me again

And I should know by now
It’s not you really talkin’
They’re empty words and empty threats
Wracked with shakes and sweats

For so long I knew this was going on
When I look back it was plain
You found poison on the street
And shot it up your vein

What’s the real reason?
Why did this become
The thing you let define you
That you can’t tear away from?

It’s your ego, working against you,
Makes you think you’re grand
So you lash out at others
And we can’t understand

That you’re using us
Manipulating, causing fear and worry
And you like the rush you get from that
You’re never even sorry

But when you dole out this vile stuff
We see the truth behind it
You’re weak, shallow, not so tough
Small and fragile and wounded

Instead of taking help
You throw it back at us
It’s all our fault you say,
You’re not willing to confess

That it hurts to be alone today -
When you look in mirror and see
By your choice, you’ve driven us all away,
The way you are is not ‘cause of me.

Kira Braun

I always knew…
Well, I had this feeling anyway,
That you were lost,
More lost than most.

You had every chance
To prove me wrong
But with your lies
You strung everyone along

You asked me once if I’d rather
You didn’t exist at all
But you’ve got every right to be
On this planet same as me

That question was loaded
With venom and spite
No matter the answer,
You twist it so you’re right

I didn’t make you self destruct
You did that on your own
How can you love yourself so much,
And still drag yourself down

Nothing’s handed to anyone
There are things you’ve gotta face
Pointing fingers and laying blame
Won’t put you in a better place

And here we are again
Your calls to us
Are nothing but a game
A devious way to deflect your pain

You don’t want help
You want others to fight
Over who did you wrong
And think that it’s our fault

Don’t worry, I feel the guilt
But sorry, I can’t change your ways
You’re unreachable when you inject your veins
Drown your feelings, suck numbness up your nose.

Can’t place this feeling
Of wanting to leave…
Is it a wanderlust,
or have I nothing left to give?

I’ve worked hard
and made my way
but there’s nothing here
that makes me want to stay.

People lay down roots,
but mine are torn and rough;
And those I give to only take -
It’s not enough, it’s not enough.

—

Get me outta here,
Just get me outta here.

Not enough to keep me here,
Nothing ties me down,
Not enough to make me sure
Nothing I will still endure.

—

I’ve left before,
I’ve moved on to more,
But now my heartstrings press
For simply …less.

I’m lingering here,
But my mind is away,
On a distant shore,
With not a care in the day.

Kira Braun

We have been stuck in a time warp
Of orange putridness,
Whiny voices,
And even smaller penises,

Where the truth
Blows the toupee away,
But the believers can’t see
The baldness that lies beneath

Where the words tumble out
In a stream of unconsciousness
But we see and hear the garbage
That flows from a monstrous sewer

Vermin beget vermin
And the exterminator’s job is arduous,
But once the nest is exposed
We’ll be rid of the filth and disease.

Kira Braun

What will our widened eyes see
At Prinsengracht 263

Will they skim past
Careful memories left

Or will they notice
Every detail of the weft

In the building’s painful tale
Told by the beams that hold it now

Will the floorboards whisper to me
The words of a young girl

When I pass behind the bookcase
Will my senses whirl

Weaving an eternity
Of lives lost, faces staring back at me

Or will I hear the beat
Of a child’s curious heart

And suddenly know what it’s like
For dreams to come apart

Kira Braun